The last letter

Had fallen in love,
Coz of the charming voice;
God’s sake; don't hate,
I had no other choice.

Felt the deepest pain,
Seeing tears in your eyes;
Now it’s my turn,
Expect you to be nice.

You have turned selfish,
Really hard to believe;
Love I saw was selfless,
Oh God!! It was a relief.

Am grateful to you,
Taught me to love;
Don’t teach me to hate,
causing explosions in my nerves.

I know u don't love me,
But I love u that’s a fact;
Don’t crush the broken heart,
Let friendship be intact.

Am not a poet,
And not so wise;
God bless is the only wish,
Take care is the only advice.

I Feel You.

I have been working in a firm at Bangalore since last two years. Most of the employees are IITians and hence I never realized that I have left the campus long back, and now live in real world. The other day I was chatting with a pal who is not from IIT and was not accustomed to IIT lingoes. I was deep in conversation without realizing that from the other end I was getting weird expressions due to incompatible vocabulary I was using. When I realize, I apologized and tried to explain the lingoes which I used. I was successful in terms of producing explanation for most of them, but I was embarrassed by one word which I use quite frequently and I myself am quite unclear as of its meaning and usage. The word is “FEEL”

“I don’t do stuff unless and until I get a feel for it” what does ‘feel’ mean here, obviously it means ‘urge to do’; but by saying ‘feel’ instead, I intend to clarify that the degree of urge is one step more than the usual.

“What the hell are you trying to explain, I am not getting a feel out of it”. Feel – sense. When I use ‘feel’ here I want to express that may be I am able to understand but I am unable to believe it inside.

“Do something with a feel.” Do something not only with dedication and enthusiasm but also with realization.

Basically I use this word when I want to associate heart factor in the stuff. There could be several such examples of the different usage of this word in my own vocabulary.

Now with such a habit of mine, I used this word on a public forum which was altogether taken on a wrong note. “I wish I could feel you.” I was speaking to a pal and this came out of me. I was thrown into a state of shock when she reacted with “You frustrated bastard, How dare you.” Though it didn’t take me a long to explain it to her what I really meant by that was certainly not to feel her ‘physically’, but at that moment she really made me feel like a ‘frustrated bastard’.

This incident forced me to think what I really mean when I say to a person that “I feel you”, as I use this word to associate heart factor, does that mean that “I love you”. If not how is it different form it. I have realized that if I am able to say it to a person that I feel you then I am certainly in a state which is more than a friendship but no less than the state of love.

Let me first explain how it is different from friendship and how the state is superior. Categorization of friends is a well known practice (as we do it on orkut); we do have casual friends, good friends, and best friends. Is there a limit to the extent of friendship; can there be friends better than the best friend (if we have many best friends then we can have a friend better than those). Consider your good friends, certainly you can show empathy to them, and even sympathy to your best friend. But will you be able to cry for your best friend, coz of his or her pain, in the same way as he or she will do; will you be able to get excited in exactly the same manner as your friend will be, coz of his or her own achievements. In other words; can you “feel” your best friend? If you can “feel” your best friend then, why is he or she not the love of your life? Is it because you already have a love in your life and you are not “suppose” to have another simultaneously, or is it because you are straight and your such friend happens to be of same sex as that of yours.

How is it different form love? Well, this can be answered as follows,
Love can be irrational (love at first sight, obsession, etc) but “feel” cannot be irrational. When you fall in love with some one you wish to delight your love at any cost, on the other hand if you fall in “feel” with some one you find it pleasure to delight your “feel” but on rational grounds. There is a kind of disconnect even if two person are in sync, or if they “feel” each other, but there can be no disconnect if they love each other. For example you like to spend time with your “feel” but you do not become restless if you do not get a chance to do that, on the other hand you just die if you don’t get such chance with your love. One can fall in love in short span of time but to “feel” someone one needs substantial amount of time.

Most of the time people fall in love first, then commit and then try to “feel” there beloved and on many occasions they succeed in doing so, but life surely become chaos if you find incompatibility after commitment. So with such a definition of mine, do you think you really feel someone?